Some more exciting stories from my days at the Eye Center!
This happens quite often with a lot of different patients. They just don't understand my instructions I guess!
Me: Okay, can you read those letters for me?
Patient: Yes, E-G-N.
Me: Good. I am going to give you two choices, and you tell me which lens makes those letters look better. Do they look better at number 1? Or number 2?
Patient: Number 2.
Me: Good. Now, number 3? Or number 4?
Patient: 2.
Me: The numbers don't mean anything. They are just a way for me to tell which one is better for you so don't get them stuck in your head. Now, do they look better at 3? Or 4?
Patient: 2. 2 looked better.
Me: Okay, but do they look better at 3? OR 4?
Patient: E-G-N.
Me: <mental head slap>
***
I get a lot of crap from people about how I don't look my age. About how young I look, to be more specific. Once, an 11 year old boy in an airport thought I was his age. I was 20. Maybe I will tell that story sometime.
Here are some recent quotes from patients about my age and appearance.
Patient: You're kinda small, aren't ya?
Me: (laughing) Yes, sir.
Patient: How old are you anyway?
Me: I'm 22.
Patient: Well you don't look it! You look like you could be in junior high school!
Me: (fake laughing this time) Oh, I hear that a lot!
Patient: I had a girlfriend your size once. It didn't work out. (Keep in mind this patient is in his late 70's. Awkward....)
Patient: How old are you? You don't look old enough to be working at a place like this!
Me: I'm actually 22.
Patient: What?! You are not! You look like you're 12!
Me: No mam, I am 22. Promise.
Patient: 22?! No. You aren't.
Me: Um, yes mam, I am.
Patient: No. You can't be! How long have you been working here?
Me: About 9 months.
Patient: Well, I guess that's good enough for me. At least you have experience. Even if you're not old enough to work here.
Me: ............ Let's check your vision.
***
This is about a 70-something-year-old female patient who has to use a few different eye drops nightly for glaucoma. The doctor is examining the patient's eyes through the slit-lamp.
Patient: Doctor, it's a good thing that I don't have a lover. Because he would not wait for me in bed at night while I put all these damn eye drops in!
Doctor: (mouth drops)
Me: (snickering to myself)
***
Here is a very accurate video about the joys of difficult patients! The actual movie looks and is silly but the conversation is extremely accurate! Thanks to the lovely Paige Besze for showing this to me!
