On a trip to the dermatologist today, I came across a lot of things that... get under my skin. Pun intended. :-P
I walked into the office and got in line to check in. There was a lady in front of me checking in. Totally cool. I got the afternoon off of work and was in no rush. Then another lady (with frizzy hair, if that helps your mental picture) walked in and got in line. But she was totally not cool with waiting. Apparently too special to wait in line, she walked through a door that read "Do Not Enter" and went over to the check-OUT counter to check in. Way to go lady. The whole waiting room is staring in your general direction and is most likely shaming you with their thoughts.
After checking in, I sat down close to an elderly couple. Immediately, the wife looks at me and then leans over to whisper something in her husband's ear. I was wearing my scrubs and I didn't exactly do my hair this morning but I had no idea what she could possibly whispering to her husband about me. I pulled out my phone to check a few things and when I looked up, she was staring at me again and leaned in to whisper something else to her husband. Um... Hello? I'm sitting two chairs away from you. I can totally see you talking about me. So, I got up and moved across the room.
And then, a hooker walked in! Okay, she wasn't a hooker (or was she?) but she was definitely dressed like one. She was wearing a black tube top and mini skirt with a belted, lime-green coat that went down to about mid-thigh. So, if you saw her from behind, you would think to yourself, "Is that lady wearing pants?!" And to top it off she had black heeled boots that went up to her knees. Oh, and she was NOT attractive which made it even worse. Again, the entire waiting room was staring in her general direction, most likely thinking, "Slut." She checked in and sat down next to me. I would take her over Gossiping Grandma any day. In her defense, the lime-green coat would have been super cute with jeans.
I finally got called back and they put me in a room and told me change into a gown. In Georgia, they have paper gowns instead of cloth gowns. I never knew how much I took those cloth gowns for granted. Paper gowns are the worst. So uncomfortable. So I put it on and sat down in the chair. You would think that they would keep their rooms (in which they put half-naked people) at a comfortable temperature. But no. It was freezing. And those paper gowns do not aid in keeping you warm.
It was an interesting trip to the dermatologist for sure. After the removal of a suspicious looking mole on my back (ouch!), I was finally able to leave and enjoy the rest of my afternoon off. I just watched the Survivor episode that I missed last night. So awesome! Ah... I think every Thursday should be a half-day. :-)
March 10, 2011
March 8, 2011
Patience for Patients
At the eye center we see a variety of patients. Most of the patients I deal with are of the elderly population. Each day there is at least one patient worth telling others about. Whether they are funny, creepy, crazy, weird, or just plain nice, I always come home with a story to tell.
Here are a few of my favorites.
This story is about an 86 year old woman with fire-engine-red hair.
Me: "How are your eyes doing?"
Patient: "I need to show you something."
Me: "Okay."
Patient: "Doors are like clouds."
...what?
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Patient: "Look, you can see things in them." (She walks over to the door.) "See? There is a circle thing here, and see these two lines going down?" (She points to random lines on the door.) "It looks like a trash can. Or a pipe."
...okay...
Then, later in the exam...
Me: "Do you use any tobacco products?"
Patient: "Nope. Never. I get drunk and raise hell! Sure! But I don't use tobacco products."
Again... this lady is 86.
***
This next one, I have heard with plenty of patients.
Patient: "I have trash in my eye."
Me: "Trash?" <thinking about a rotten banana peel or a smashed styrofoam cup>
Patient: "Yes, there is trash in my eye."
I look at the patient's eye through the slit lamp microscope.
Patient: "Well? Did you see any trash?"
Me: "Nope. No trash. Your eyes do look a little dry though."
***
A little while ago, I had a 40-something year old female patient. She was extremely high strung to say the very least. Fast talker, this one. Anxious. As I prepare to put an eye drop into her eye, she says that she does not do well with eye drops and things being close to her eye. Okay. Fine. About half of our patients have this exact phobia. It's nothing I haven't seen before. Nothing I can't handle, right? Wrong. I get ready to check her eye pressure. Now, checking pressure involves touching a small, blunt, cone-like thing to the surface of the eye (just barely touching it!). But never fear. We put a numbing drop in your eyes before we do this so you can't feel a thing. Not a big deal. Generally, we don't tell patients that we are about to touch their eyeball because it kinda freaks them out. Usually we don't tell them, and they never know. I start to get close to her eye with the device and she puts her hands up and says, "Wait, what are you doing?" Now, when they ask, I have to tell them. So I explain what I am going to do (in the least terrifying way possible) and tell her that she won't even feel it. She. Freaks. Out. You would have thought I was coming at her with a machete. She starts crying and squealing and saying, "Oh my God. Oh my God!" Over and over again while fanning herself with her hands. Wow. I had no idea what to do. I was eventually able to console her and she finally calmed down. I was able to check her pressure and guess what? She was fine. Didn't even feel it. A miracle! Then she says, "Well... that wasn't so bad." Sheesh.
***
The other day, while I was checking an elderly man's eye pressure, the bottom part of the device touched his mouth. This can happen if the patient has large lips or a protruding chin. So the device touches his lips (which I was completely unaware of).
Patient: "Are you kissing me?"
Me (surprised and pulling the device back): "Oh no sir. That was just part of the slit lamp that touched you. I'm sorry."
Patient (smiling): "So am I!"
***
Well, that went a bit longer than I planned so I will stop here for now. But I work five days out of seven. Be prepared for more.
Here are a few of my favorites.
This story is about an 86 year old woman with fire-engine-red hair.
Me: "How are your eyes doing?"
Patient: "I need to show you something."
Me: "Okay."
Patient: "Doors are like clouds."
...what?
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Patient: "Look, you can see things in them." (She walks over to the door.) "See? There is a circle thing here, and see these two lines going down?" (She points to random lines on the door.) "It looks like a trash can. Or a pipe."
...okay...
Then, later in the exam...
Me: "Do you use any tobacco products?"
Patient: "Nope. Never. I get drunk and raise hell! Sure! But I don't use tobacco products."
Again... this lady is 86.
***
This next one, I have heard with plenty of patients.
Patient: "I have trash in my eye."
Me: "Trash?" <thinking about a rotten banana peel or a smashed styrofoam cup>
Patient: "Yes, there is trash in my eye."
I look at the patient's eye through the slit lamp microscope.
Patient: "Well? Did you see any trash?"
Me: "Nope. No trash. Your eyes do look a little dry though."
***
A little while ago, I had a 40-something year old female patient. She was extremely high strung to say the very least. Fast talker, this one. Anxious. As I prepare to put an eye drop into her eye, she says that she does not do well with eye drops and things being close to her eye. Okay. Fine. About half of our patients have this exact phobia. It's nothing I haven't seen before. Nothing I can't handle, right? Wrong. I get ready to check her eye pressure. Now, checking pressure involves touching a small, blunt, cone-like thing to the surface of the eye (just barely touching it!). But never fear. We put a numbing drop in your eyes before we do this so you can't feel a thing. Not a big deal. Generally, we don't tell patients that we are about to touch their eyeball because it kinda freaks them out. Usually we don't tell them, and they never know. I start to get close to her eye with the device and she puts her hands up and says, "Wait, what are you doing?" Now, when they ask, I have to tell them. So I explain what I am going to do (in the least terrifying way possible) and tell her that she won't even feel it. She. Freaks. Out. You would have thought I was coming at her with a machete. She starts crying and squealing and saying, "Oh my God. Oh my God!" Over and over again while fanning herself with her hands. Wow. I had no idea what to do. I was eventually able to console her and she finally calmed down. I was able to check her pressure and guess what? She was fine. Didn't even feel it. A miracle! Then she says, "Well... that wasn't so bad." Sheesh.
***
The other day, while I was checking an elderly man's eye pressure, the bottom part of the device touched his mouth. This can happen if the patient has large lips or a protruding chin. So the device touches his lips (which I was completely unaware of).
Patient: "Are you kissing me?"
Me (surprised and pulling the device back): "Oh no sir. That was just part of the slit lamp that touched you. I'm sorry."
Patient (smiling): "So am I!"
***
Well, that went a bit longer than I planned so I will stop here for now. But I work five days out of seven. Be prepared for more.
March 5, 2011
Welcome to the South!
I moved from Utah to Georgia at the beginning of last summer. Leaving my friends and family, I embarked on a new journey to the south to move in with my boyfriend Tim. The south is... different. Especially compared to Utah. It has definitely been an experience!
There are some great things about living in Georgia!
1. Food. Peaches, peach cobbler, candied pecans, fried green tomatoes, fried chicken, and boiled peanuts are among the great foods that make up the cuisine here in Georgia. Mmm... :-) It's no wonder that this state has a high obesity rate. I mean, it's a good thing I have a decent metabolism and will power not to eat everything I see.
2. Scenery. The peach and pecan tree orchards are so beautiful here! Especially at sunset!
3. Atlanta. It is definitely fun to visit the city now and then. My friend Ali has introduced me to salsa dancing and we have gone dancing at a few clubs in Atlanta. I never thought I would be one to go dancing at clubs, but, it is seriously a blast!
Some bad things about living in Georgia...
1. Everybody smokes. It is seriously gross. You go dancing at a club or go to a bar and you come home wreaking of smoke. It clings to your clothes, your hair, everything. Yuck.
2. You cannot buy alcohol on Sundays. Weird? I know. But I guess we are in the Bible Belt.
All of the girls I work with have thick southern accents. We both make fun of each other about the way we talk and the sayings that we use.
For example:
The word "oil". Southerners pronounce it "ull". Like there isn't even an "i" in the word! Same thing goes for "boil". They prononce it "bull". Like, "Let's order some "bulled peanuts".
A saying they have that I don't understand is "fixin'". They say, "I'm fixin' to make dinner." or "I'm fixin' to go to the store.". What are you fixing?! How about, "I'm going to make dinner." or "I'm going to the store."?
And everyone knows this one. "Ya'll." In fact, everyone here makes fun of me for saying, "You guys.".
Well, those are just a few things about the south that I wanted to share! I'm sure there will be more additions as time goes on! Like I said, it has been an experience. A good one though. :-)
There are some great things about living in Georgia!
1. Food. Peaches, peach cobbler, candied pecans, fried green tomatoes, fried chicken, and boiled peanuts are among the great foods that make up the cuisine here in Georgia. Mmm... :-) It's no wonder that this state has a high obesity rate. I mean, it's a good thing I have a decent metabolism and will power not to eat everything I see.
2. Scenery. The peach and pecan tree orchards are so beautiful here! Especially at sunset!
3. Atlanta. It is definitely fun to visit the city now and then. My friend Ali has introduced me to salsa dancing and we have gone dancing at a few clubs in Atlanta. I never thought I would be one to go dancing at clubs, but, it is seriously a blast!
Some bad things about living in Georgia...
1. Everybody smokes. It is seriously gross. You go dancing at a club or go to a bar and you come home wreaking of smoke. It clings to your clothes, your hair, everything. Yuck.
2. You cannot buy alcohol on Sundays. Weird? I know. But I guess we are in the Bible Belt.
All of the girls I work with have thick southern accents. We both make fun of each other about the way we talk and the sayings that we use.
For example:
The word "oil". Southerners pronounce it "ull". Like there isn't even an "i" in the word! Same thing goes for "boil". They prononce it "bull". Like, "Let's order some "bulled peanuts".
A saying they have that I don't understand is "fixin'". They say, "I'm fixin' to make dinner." or "I'm fixin' to go to the store.". What are you fixing?! How about, "I'm going to make dinner." or "I'm going to the store."?
And everyone knows this one. "Ya'll." In fact, everyone here makes fun of me for saying, "You guys.".
Well, those are just a few things about the south that I wanted to share! I'm sure there will be more additions as time goes on! Like I said, it has been an experience. A good one though. :-)
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